In the Nigerian cultural context, men are typically expected to shoulder the bulk of the financial responsibilities within the family. Traditionally, the husband provides for the household while the wife manages domestic affairs. However, when Nigerian families relocate abroad, the dynamics often change dramatically. In many Western countries, women are also expected to contribute significantly to the family’s financial well-being. This shift can be challenging for some Nigerian women, who may feel overwhelmed by the increased financial burden.
As a result, some of these women may start to lose interest in the men who brought them to their new country. This situation can be particularly problematic if their original motivation for marriage was not based on a deep love for their partner but rather on the prospect of financial support. When faced with the demands of sharing financial responsibilities, they may realize that they do not love or even need their husbands as they once thought.
It’s important to note that many of these men are not at fault. They entered the marriage with genuine intentions, only to discover that their partners might have had ulterior motives. The move abroad sometimes exposes these motivations, leading to marital discord. The issue is not that these women were mistreated in Nigeria, but rather that their marriages were built on shaky foundations.
Relocating abroad can reveal the true intentions behind some marriages. If individuals begin to marry for the right reasons—such as love, compatibility, and mutual respect—they may find that geographical location has little impact on the success of their relationship. In essence, the strength of the marital bond, rather than the external environment, determines the union’s stability and happiness.
Here are a few examples of relationships that have been affected by the dynamics of relocating from Nigeria to a country with different societal expectations and norms:
- Financial Strain:
- Tunde and Amaka: When Tunde and Amaka moved to the UK, they were excited about the opportunities it offered. Tunde had secured a job, but Amaka struggled to find work initially. As the months went by, the financial burden on Tunde became overwhelming, and the couple began to argue frequently. Amaka eventually found a job, but the financial strain had already taken a toll on their relationship. The expectations that Amaka would also contribute financially led to resentment and dissatisfaction in their marriage.
- Cultural Adjustments:
- Chinedu and Ifeoma: Chinedu and Ifeoma relocated to Canada with their children. In Nigeria, Ifeoma had been a homemaker, but in Canada, she was expected to work outside the home. The shift in roles was challenging for Ifeoma, who felt overwhelmed by balancing work and family responsibilities. Chinedu, on the other hand, found it difficult to adjust to the less hierarchical family dynamics in Canada. The cultural adjustments created tension between them, leading to frequent misunderstandings and conflicts.
- Marital Expectations:
- Ade and Kemi: Ade and Kemi moved to the United States with high hopes for their future. In Nigeria, Ade had been the primary breadwinner, and Kemi had relied on him for financial support. However, in the US, Kemi was expected to contribute to the household income. As she started working and becoming more financially independent, she realized that her initial attraction to Ade was based on financial security rather than genuine love. This realization led to emotional detachment and a strained relationship.
- Gender Roles:
- Kunle and Bola: Kunle and Bola emigrated to Australia, where gender roles are often more egalitarian. Kunle struggled to adapt to the expectation that he should participate in household chores and child-rearing. Bola, who was used to handling domestic duties on her own in Nigeria, felt unsupported and overburdened. The shift in gender roles led to frustration and conflict, as both partners struggled to find a balance that worked for them.
- Independence and Empowerment:
- Nnamdi and Chioma: Nnamdi and Chioma moved to Germany for better career prospects. In Nigeria, Chioma had been financially dependent on Nnamdi, but in Germany, she found a well-paying job and became more financially independent. This newfound independence empowered Chioma, but it also led her to question her relationship with Nnamdi. She realized that her initial reasons for marrying him were not based on love, but rather on financial security. As a result, their marriage began to deteriorate.
These examples illustrate how the dynamics of relocation and the expectations placed on individuals in their new environment can impact relationships. It’s important to note that while some relationships may face challenges, others may thrive as couples adapt and grow together. Ultimately, the strength of the relationship and the willingness of both partners to communicate and compromise play a crucial role in navigating these changes.